As time goes on in my life, I look back over the year of when I was young and now getting older.. I have seen that the one carried me through is the one I'm losing. I have leaned on her all my life.. and now it is her turn to lean on me.. It scares me to see her like this.. I never thought that my own mother would need me more then my brother.. but in life we have to make choices and deision that isn't going to go well or makr others happy.. all I can say is what about me.. Am I allowed to be happy am I allowed to be free. but it seems that I'm right back to plan A there was a plan B.. but I think that isn't going to take place.. What do I do now? is the question that races through my head. will my life being when she end.. But Lords knows I don't want that.. I want her to be here everything the growth of my kids and me having a happy life.. I want my mother to see these things.. but I don't want her life to go when I leave her... Why do you lean on me so much.. I can't handle this... I'm going crazy inside because I don't know what to do... Am I at fault for feeling this way. I am not strong enough for this....
